Some psychologists believe gay men’s apparent attraction to masculinity stems from a general tendency for people to eroticize traits that are different from their own-the “ exotic becomes erotic” theory, as it’s known. “Gay men have fetishized straight men to some degree based on seeing them as more masculine,” says Joe Kort, a gay sex and relationship psychotherapist who works primarily with an LGBTQ+ client base.
To be clear, there is wide individual variability-but if gay men tend to be attracted to masculinity and straight men as a group are more likely to conform to masculine gender roles, then it’s not hard to see why so many gay men would be searching for porn featuring straight guys. Study after study has found that gay men are less gender-conforming than straight men on average, meaning that they’re less likely to adhere to strict ideas of what boys and men are “supposed” to act like. This helps explain why “Masc4Masc” is such a common term on gay dating and hookup sites. This preference for masculinity is strongest among gay men who identify as masculine. Gay men also rate prospective partners who describe themselves as masculine more favorably than those who describe themselves as feminine. For example, gay men tend to be attracted to masculine-looking faces and to other signs of masculinity, such as muscularity. Whatever it is, it’s worth having a conversation about it.Research into the partner preferences of gay men suggests that, on average, they tend to be drawn to masculinity. Maybe he’s just curious, or maybe he wants to try something new in the bedroom. So, if you discover that your guy likes gay porn, talk to him about it. Kerner says experts are just starting to learn more about male sexual fluidity, and men watching guy-on-guy porn is part of understanding it as a spectrum of sexuality. “It's only a problem for the guy when it's part of a deeper erotic conflict, for example the guy is gay and closeted, or wrestling with an aspect of identity.” “Generally, the men are curious and looking for some variety,” he says. Kerner says he’s worked with many heterosexual men (and women) who enjoy gay porn. Sign up for Women's Health's new newsletter, So This Happened, to get the day’s trending stories and health studies. “Porn allows us to explore sexual curiosities and taboos that we would not otherwise enjoy in reality.” “The porn a person watches is not always tightly correlated with their sexual preferences or orientation and can express a wide range of sexual interests,” he says. New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First, says you shouldn’t panic and assume your guy is gay. So what does it mean if you discover your guy likes watching man-on-man action? RELATED: 53 Percent of Women Have This Surprising Secret Fantasy in Common
They were watching the same stuff gay men watched, including fisting, bondage, sadomasochism, cock and ball torture, and sounding (sticking things up your urethra). (Researchers also found that 55 percent of men who identified as gay said they watched heterosexual porn.) Straight guys weren't going for Brokeback Mountain-esque love scenes, either. RELATED: What Went Down When These 5 Women Shared Their Secret Sex Fantasiesīut here's something that might truly shock you: More than 20 percent of men who identified as straight admitted to watching gay porn. Most men viewed it on their computer or phone, but some also watched it on DVD or through an on-demand cable service. Also, here’s an interesting nugget: “Heterosexual men were more likely than gay men to report viewing sexually explicit media at work on a computer,” researchers reported. But all of the guys surveyed had viewed some form of porn in the past six months. Scientists discovered that men who identified as gay and bisexual reported “significantly more frequent use” of internet porn compard to straight men.
In a new study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, researchers asked 821 straight, bisexual, and gay men to complete an online survey about how they consume sexually explicit media (read: porn). Now, it seems, the same may be true for guys. Research has shown that sexuality is fluid for women: Just because you identify as a straight woman, it doesn’t mean you can’t be turned on by the idea of same-sex action.